Longing to have the close connection that you had in the early days of your relationship?
Couples start out loving, but when things go wrong, they very often end up angry, insecure, distant or numb. All couples fight about money, sex, the kids, etc….all the little things that feel so stupid to argue about. But there is more to it than these issues, something underlying that is hard to figure out or know how to fix. What are these things “deep down” that are so hard to define?
We believe there is a common theme that lies beneath all relationships, struggles-the need to feel connected, safe and secure in the arms of your lover.
IN spite of loving one another, you and your partner can get caught up in unhealthy communication or behaviour or patterns to the point of feeling completely stuck in the same arguments time and time again. Or perhaps you avoid difficult conversations because you are afraid of starting a fight. Both patterns increase tension and conflict in your relationship. As therapists, we find that most couples are trying to solve their problems without a safe, secure connection. But it most often leads to more of that “dance” of negativity which has engulfed the two of them.
My training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples makes having an emotional safe environment a priority in my office. Once you feel safe to open up to your partner, the cycle is broken and a new emotional connection emerges. You will begin to feel the intimacy and trust grow as you speak about your deepest needs.
Regardless of the state of your relationship, EFT can help you break out of the old negative patterns for good. It allows couples to move from painful disconnect to a new way of understanding themselves and each other- viewing your partner as a safe haven and a secure base from which to face the world!