Unconditional Happiness

Feelings are so important to us because we base our sense of happiness on our feelings.

We think we have to achieve something, acquire something or be in a certain relationship in order to be happy. Actually, we don’t need any of these things to be happy. We just need to approach our feelings in a certain way to experience a sense of happiness unrelated to achievement, possession or relationships. That’s called: Unconditional Happiness.

In today’s society there seems to be a huge gap: we are intellectually advanced, but emotionally unaware. The goal of unconditional happiness is to create a balance between intellect and emotion, thinking and feeling, reason and intuition.

Have you noticed that you may have strong negative feelings that you can’t seem to resolve, like: depression, loneliness, anxiety, etc…. You may also be experiencing active emotions such as: anger, jealousy, fear, which erupt from time to time, especially in intimate relationships, where our buttons get pushed the most.

Most of us are locked into fixed, limiting patterns that we find difficult to get out of. Until we release the feelings associated with these patterns, we will be unable to change. For example: Negative feelings cause stress and stress is merely a negative emotion we are unable to release. This does not mean that we can be stress-free all the time. Even in our most positive relationships, we will from time to time experience periods of loneliness.

When we resist an experience, that negative energy gets trapped and held in our emotional and physical body. This in turn leads to suppression. A suppressed emotion goes into the subconscious, and creates a body of unresolved feelings and emotions, waiting to be released. The problem with suppressed emotions is: if we don’t consciously release the feelings, they will start coloring our experience, making us react in unreasonable and destructive ways. Often we blame the other person for our feelings because we are not aware that our own unresolved issues are being triggered.

What is the solution? Not to resist those negative feelings, but to allow yourself to experience them. Know that when you allow yourself to feel the feelings, they will come to a completion and you can then be free of them.

The Psychology Behind Meditation

One of the simplest definitions of meditation is 'the correct use of the mind'. The aim isn't to deny our thoughts, but to become aware of our mind, gain mastery over our mental activity and generate the highest quality thoughts. With practice, we will be able to slow down our minds and enter the inner space within our consciousness.

People learn to meditate for a variety of reasons. Some desire inner peace, others use it as a part of their quest for truth and understanding, and for some it is the hope of discovering the holy grail of happiness. Meditation is a spiritual, mental, and emotional healing process, with proven benefits to our physical well-being.

The main benefits of meditation are: improved levels of contentment, concentration, creativity and communication.

Surrounded by a highly charged, constantly changing world, we may find it difficult to maintain our attention span for any length of time. When we take the time to explore the real cause of stress, we would find distorted thinking leads to various emotions that we find stressful. Stress and tiredness is a modern disease. If we acknowledge that negative thoughts and stresses are not normal parts of a fulfilling life, than we can reap many rewards from the regular practice of meditation. It helps to balance our physical energies, which allows the body to function more effectively, while improving its ability its heal itself.

The physical benefits of meditation are: reduced blood pressure, increased vitality, better sleep patterns and greater pain control.

Meditation helps us gradually increase self-awareness and awaken who we really are. It is a journey through which we rediscover our natural resources of peace, power and love.

Be in the World, Not of the World

In an attempt to find happiness, we often tend to increase the complexity of our lives to a point of no return. For example: BlackBerries, iPods, Facebook, Twitter, cell phones etc…keep us occupied almost all day (and night).

We seem to be relying on outer stimuli to have some meaning in life, to find some importance in ourselves, to fill the emptiness within. As if, without the outside stimuli, the silence would be deafening to us.

Is there a fear that if we are on our own, without the outer stimuli, that we may be forced to get our inner stimuli going? Fear to look within of what we may or may not find? Fear of knowing your inner self is quite natural; often we think that there are “monsters” hidden in there, because we may not have positive feelings about ourselves.

We can take ourselves gently by the hand and find a peaceful place within, where we can make some space to experience our true inner beauty. You can try to see yourself as a little vulnerable, innocent child. Now you can, as the grown up and wise adult embrace and comfort the child and give it all the love it needs. Getting to know your true self is what may give you inner peace.

As a therapist, I guide people to find their peaceful place and from there to discover what is standing in their way to overcome their "blocks".